It had been just under 24 hours since news broke that Sean Hannity was Michael Cohen’s oft-spoken-of “third
criminal accomplice client” when Fox News released a statement:
FOX NEWS statement on Hannity: “While FOX News was unaware of Sean Hannity’s informal relationship with Michael Cohen and was surprised by the announcement in court yesterday, we have reviewed the matter and spoken to Sean and he continues to have our full support.”
— David Folkenflik (@davidfolkenflik) April 17, 2018
In case “While FOX News was unaware of Sean Hannity’s informal relationship with Michael Cohen and was surprised by the announcement in court yesterday, we have reviewed the matter and spoken to Sean and he continues to have our full support” is VERY CONFUSING to you, CNN’s most astute analyst Chris Cillizza translated the statement on Tweeter:
1. Hannity never informed Fox of his relationship with Cohen
2. While “surprised” the network is not suspending him or penalizing him in any way.
Good times. https://t.co/S2LkPhb6bZ
— Chris Cillizza (@CillizzaCNN) April 17, 2018
Rarely is the question asked, “The fuck WOULD we do without Chris Cillizza?” (Because nobody has ever thought of that question until just now.)
Think Progress flags a tweet from Cillizza’s fellow hall-of-famer in the League Of Unnecessary Journalists, Chuck Todd, who was asking the important questions before Fox released its statement:
Going to find out what kind of org Fox is today. No serious news org would allow someone this conflicted to cover this story https://t.co/8KX1JLlzpx
— Chuck Todd (@chucktodd) April 17, 2018
“What is Fox News? Is it the best people? Am I brand new?” Christ, what a windsock.
After the statement was released, Todd went on his daily TV show “Sorry Katy Tur Isn’t Guest-Hosting Today, WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING” and expressed MANY SHOCKS that Fox News (!) didn’t commit to higher journalism standards (!!!) and at least slap Hannity on the wrist, for acting exactly like Hannity always acts. We’d find you a clip of that to watch, but we don’t want to.
Want to see more very serious journalists reassuring themselves that maybe this time Fox would do the right thing, before the statement came out? Luckily, Oliver Willis went ahead and started pre-LOLing at them hours after the original news broke:
Anyway, Fox News thinks it is just great that Sean Hannity has spent the last week and a half doing OUTRAGE-GHAZI!!!!111! about the FBI raid of Michael Cohen, Trump’s lawyer, and that he’s had Cohen on TV many times too as one of his lie-guests, without disclosing to his viewers that Cohen is also his lawyer. Many standards! Such ethics!
It’s not that Fox News has never done anything to punish Sean Hannity for being Donald Trump’s sex fluffer, of course. One time they were like, “Hey Sean, stop doing commercials for Donald Trump’s campaign, because even WE can’t keep a straight face and pretend you’re a journalist right now.” Another time, they were like “OK we guess we’ll retract the Seth Rich Hillary MURDERRRRRRR story, since it is obviously a lie pulled out of somebody’s gross A-hole. We won’t get mad if Hannity keeps talking about it, though, because PFFFFFFT.”
Let’s sum up what we’ve learned in this post. Chuck Todd and Chris Cillizza are fucking idiots, Sean Hannity is a piece of shit, and Fox News is not a news network if you’re using any accepted English definition of the word “news,” oh wait, we already knew all that, HAHA SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR TIME BY TEACHING YOU NOTHING, Wonkette will do better next time.
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